


Drifting Back

by ElphieRix



Series: No Hope Of Rescue [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Both From Me And The Marvel Writers, F/M, Give Him To Someone Who Can Only Write Fluff, Hurt Tony Stark, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Short But... Not Sweet, So much angst, Someone Please Protect Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, errrr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-19 11:55:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17001201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElphieRix/pseuds/ElphieRix
Summary: It takes Tony Stark some time to remember he is alive...





	Drifting Back

He doesn’t dream about her. Of course he doesn’t, CO2 poisoning is nasty, and doesn’t really lend itself to peacefully drifting off into the great goodnight, but he knew that when he recorded the message. So no, he doesn’t dream of her.   
  
He hears her voice though, right at the very last as he lets himself go, calling his name urgently. He’s glad he kept his promise in the end. It’s the only promise he’s ever actually managed to keep.   
  
Waking up is a surprise. The only afterlife he’d ever believed in was legacy but here he is staring at a dull off-white ceiling, after death. He figures out pretty quickly that it’s hell, not that that’s unexpected, because there’s no way heaven would hurt this much. His entire body pulses with pain, waves of agony keeping time with the beats of his heart. He wonders if this is it, just this pain and fuzzy incomprehension of his surroundings for the rest of eternity. He thinks that might get boring and immediately realises that’s why it’s a great punishment for him.   
  
The next time he wakes up someone is holding his hand. Reflexively he squeezes and he hears a strangely familiar gasp, a gasp that doesn’t belong in hell, but before he can identify the gasping hand-holder he’s dragged back down into unconsciousness.   
  
The third time he wakes up is the worst. He opens his eyes and they hurt to open and his vision is still sort of blurry but he sees her. He sees  _ her _ . She’s here and for some reason she’s in hell. His mind is slow (and isn’t that just terrifying) so he can’t remember her name but he knows that the only reason she’d be here is if she’s dead too, and the only reason she’d be in hell is through her association with him.    
  
He shuts his eyes again in shame and feels tears spill out from behind his closed lids. Failure is sitting heavily on his chest. It would be crushing the air out of him but there’s something shoved between his lips and down his throat that is breathing for him.   
  
He doesn’t fight when sleep comes to claim him.   
  
“I’m sorry,” he tells her the next time he’s awake. The thing is gone from his mouth and now there’s a mask covering half his face but at least he can talk. He still can’t remember her name. He knows that he loves her, and he knows that he failed her. He failed everyone.   
  
She shakes her head and light from the fluorescents overhead catches in her hair. His mother had loved rose gold jewellery. Her engagement ring was that metal. _Her_ hair is the same colour. A surge of nausea crawls up from his stomach at the thought of what he’s done to her.   
  
“I’m sorry,” he says again.   
  
“Shhhhh.” Her voice is far more gentle than he deserves.   
  
Unconsciousness again.   
  
There’s a cool hand stroking his hair.   
  
Pepper.   
  
He opens his eyes. Her name is Pepper and he’s Tony and this isn’t hell it’s a hospital and he’s alive-   
  
And he still failed.

**Author's Note:**

> i don’t even know. sorry
> 
> maaaaaybe i’ll write a fluffish third part to this? maybe not


End file.
